When I was a child, we didn't have much money. Clothes were either second hand or from an ex catalogue shop and kids can be nasty little bastards, especially to children wearing the wrong stuff. My best friend and I used to make our clothes, I had a battered old sewing machine and we scoured the market for material. I wasn't great at sewing and cringe when I look at old pictures. So, having a job and enough money to buy clothes was a huge deal. And I think it's a symptom of low self esteem. When I try on clothes, it feels like being a different person.. Not me, but the person I aspire to be. Confident, outgoing and stylish. People I know would laugh at this - but it's true. It's also an antidote to depression, buying something new is a 'treat'. But it's not really an antidote.
Today, surrounded by piles of clothes, I also thought about how hard it is to get rid of some of them. There are the brown suede boots, bought by Chris when we were in St Ives, the sequinned flapper dress I love but never get to wear, a turquoise snakeskin leather skirt that was half price and the teal suede wedges that are impossible to wear, but look so lovely. There are the purchases online of the sun dress that made me think of running on a sunny beach in a rainy July, or the eBay purchase of a patent leather jacket that is a bit of a tight fit, but was a complete bargain from Banana Republic in New York.
But it is time to take action. So today, I made a commitment. For the next year, I will buy no new clothes, no shoes or boots, no jewellery or accessories. No haircare or make up products unless replacing an empty bottle for which I have no alternative. The only exceptions are to be financed by sales of my existing possessions in advance. A whole year. To end on October 13 2014. Eek.
